I heard this about a week ago and it spoke volumes to me. I've been struggling a lot lately with writing. I don't really have motivation anymore. I'm on the school newspaper and I write articles a lot. I don't want to speak highly of myself, but I do a pretty good job of working hard and producing a good amount of articles that are of what I think is decent quality. Anyway, probably 1% of the students read the articles. Some, not all, of the teachers read them, which is nice. But man, it's so annoying. I get really bogged down about it. I literally feel like I'm writing for nothing and I have no reason to be in the class or on the staff. Sounds pretty sad, right? Or maybe a little dramatic? Yeah, I think so too. But it's just frustrating to work really hard and not really get the pat on the back for your toils. But perhaps I'm being selfish...
So when I read this quotation by Connolly, I thought, Oops. I think I messed up. And it's true. My focus was not on what mattered. It's been very hard to write when I have the "public" in mind. It's been hard to write when all I can think about is others opinions and if it'll be 'good enough' to them. Now I've realized that I've lost part of myself. I've lost the truth I once carried. Pretty freaky. But that's what you get for caring too much about what other people think.
It's funny, I've heard that you should never care what others think all my life. And I'm sure we all have. And I've never really considered myself to be that type of person, but I am. I've just cared in a way that is much different from what I originally thought. It doesn't have to be about clothes, looks, taste in music, and stuff like that. I think this 'issue' comes in many different shapes and sizes. BUT, the main point is that we're not staying true to ourselves. We all have a story, and we're letting someone else have the pen to write it on OUR paper. Not cool.
And if you think about it, it's all in our society. We tip-toe around everything just to make sure that we're not going to reveal too much or too little in order to feel accepted. Acceptance. That's a big one. We all want to be accepted. I mean, that's fair. But I think sometimes (okay, maybe A LOT of the time), we look in the wrong places to be accepted. If every single person accepted everyone, there would be harmony on this earth. And if that ever happens, there will be a party at my house! But let's face it, in this life on earth, it's probably not going to happen. So, we just have to face the tough fact that there will be people who are going to look at us like we have two heads. But you know, it's their loss. Whatever, to them. I'm not saying to blow everyone off and be all "I'm cool. HERE I AM." That's definitely NOT the point. The point is to go through each day with grace, strength, courage, confidence, and humility so you can show everyone who you are.
Gwarplesnurff...
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