Not gonna lie - blogging seemed a bit weird to me. I thought of it as something for older people to do or people who travel the world. But once someone told me that I might like it, I gave it another thought. Even though I really don't have some kind of AMAZING outlook that gives me revolutionary ideas or whatever, I see this as an opportunity to spit out my thoughts, pictures, and love for people, culture, art, and music onto a page for people to hopefully enjoy. Creativity and wit aren't exactly my forte, but hopefully what I have to say is at least somewhat interesting. It'll be a journey that's for sure, but it always is. We're always on some type of journey traveling to some type of destination.

Never Stop Exploring.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sing It

Every day when I get home, I do the same thing. I play with my dog, eat a snack, and turn on ellen. If it's past 5:00, I'm usually crushed because, like today for instance, that means I missed her. I missed her dancing, her smile and laughter, and her overall brilliance she brings to life. She is truly brilliant. She can make me laugh no matter what kind of mood I'm in. Besides Friends, she's the only other show on TV that can do that. I seriously look forward to her throughout my day. She puts me in a great mood and is seriously always happy. She's what keeps me sane.

The other day I was surfing the internet for some of her stand-up shows, and I ended up watching the whole thing. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. And then I was laughing so hard that I was in one of those silent-laugh-attacks where you can't stop. It was bad, but I was happy. And what was even cooler was that through her humor, she was able to convey the most amazing messages. Messages about life and the life we're all living in this day and age. It was just so cool. I learned that Ellen and I have a lot in common and have similar outlooks on parts of life.

Watch this video and you'll see what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_yyYIy_5UU

I just love what she talks about. It addresses one of America's major issues in a light, funny, yet still serious way. She gets her point across. I really respect her for that. I'm so happy I have someone like Ellen to relate to. Those four minutes brightened my day because of the laughs she gave me and because of the fact that someone like her was relating to someone like me.

I realized today that people are lyrics we have in life because of what they say. The things they say could make you laugh. They could encourage you, lift you up, or whatever. For me, laughing is key in life. I think we all need to find people to sing songs of laughter and joy to us. What people say really influences us. It can even change our day. Make it or break it. That's why we need to be careful with our words, and careful with the songs we choose to sing to people. If we look outwards first, see what people need from us, then look inward at what we have to offer, we can then make their day better. It's a way of serving. And I believe that we'll be helping ourselves in the long run as well.

This made me think of the song "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out" by Cat Stevens. It's that simple, just sing it out, ya know? I encourage everyone to sing their songs to people! It doesn't matter if your voice cracks. The point is that you sang, your lyrics were heard, and hopefully you changed someone in the process.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

U-Turn

So you know when you hear a song months or even years before everyone else? And then they start playing it on the radio. And then they start overplaying it... So then you get really tired of a song that you once really loved! That's how it is for me sometimes.

It actually just happened with the song "Shattered" by O.A.R. It's a great song, but not going to lie, I'm kind of sick of it. They've played countless times on my local radio station. Last night, it came on while I was taking a shower. I thought to myself, Ugh, I really don't want to hear this right now! But for some reason, I didn't change it. Something was telling me not to. Knowing the deeper meaning of the chorus, I decided I was going to actually listen to the lyrics. This way I could really apply it to my life, especially the place I'm in right now.

It was astounding. I felt like O.A.R. saw the future and then wrote the song just for this moment. Each line and each word described my life in one way or another. Looking back today, some of the lines were realizations I have needed to make and things I have needed to admit in order to get through the "brokenness" before I "shatter."

I think it's really cool how music does this to us. It has its way of coming back to us in our most despairing or trying times. Some would call it a circle, but I think of it as a U-turn. We could be making the U-turn back to music or the other way around. It's like in the song, "I always turn the car around..."

In my case, music and I both did a U-turn and we met in the middle. But now, I'm working on making my own U-turn in my own life. All I have to do is buckle up, grab hold of that wheel, press on the gas, and start turning.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Wonderful Week Away

March 5-12 was Spring Break for me! I spent my week away in the country of Honduras with my school on a mission trip. It was my second mission trip and one I am thrilled I went on. We went with ROW (Rivers of the World), which is an awesome organization. I was able to serve a lot, learn much, and even relax a bit. It's so interesting to go on these trips and see what you can learn. About yourself, others, and the world. I loved seeing everything that God did during this week. He was so present in our hearts, in the Hondurans' hearts, and simply in everything around us.



We stayed right on Lake Yojoa, which is over 14,000 square miles in size. Each morning we awoke to the glorious birds singing their Song. I loved having these majestic creatures waking me up, rather than some repetitive beeping noise. The birds would start their symphony quite early as you would imagine. However, I enjoyed this very much. I would get up about an hour early so I could sit and enjoy the moment and God's creation. It was cool - as soon as I opened my eyes every morning, I would see this bright and sparkling sun rising up over the mountains and reflecting out onto the lake. What a sight that was. It was the perfect place for me to journal and do our daily devotionals. So peaceful. There were many mornings when some of us girls would sing "Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin" from the musical Oklahoma! Those lyrics just seemed to fit. It was interesting to think that this place is just someone else's home. But to me it's a haven. It's a sacred place of serenity. I remember pondering on the trip, if this is someone's home, then what do they call beauty? What would they think of my home? Because my window is just a little bit different.



Our construction site was up on a mountain 6,000 feet above sea level. The ride up there was quite an adventurous trip! It was pretty shocking that the van didn't ever get stuck or that we didn't fall off the side of the steep mountainside. Praise the Lord! We just kept climbing and climbing, all the way to the very top of the mountain. You could see so much from there. It was like we were on top of the world. It's amazing to see God's creation. Especially because most of the time, we have these preconceived notions that developing countries will be so poor with no natural beauty. But often, it's the exact opposite. Countries like these are lucky. The huge arm of industrialization hasn't grabbed them yet. They live simply and naturally. While in America, we are a concrete country, and have been for quite some time.



While we did complete phase two of the foundation of the church for our construction portion of the trip, we also spent a lot of time with the Honduran people - especially the kids. I loved spending time with them, it was wonderful. The first day was one of those "jump out of your comfort zone" days. We got a group of about twenty kids and just hung out with them. They colored and drew pictures while I tried to make new friends using my fragmented Spanish. It was interesting, last year, I went to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip, and I realized that the kids are much different. Honduran children are shy and sort of sit back to take you in. They're happy to have you there, but they're just a bit cautionary. Dominican children would literally jump on you. This made me think of how I would act if some foreigners came into my school or town and decided to play games or color with me. How would I act? How would I treat them? The joy and love in their hearts was bountiful. Would I have that? I really had to look at myself and think.



Sunday was a glorious day. A great day of rest, but still mixed in with some wonderful serving. We started the day out going to a waterfall, which was huge!! It was a very peaceful and lovely sight to see. There's not really anything like that in the States, or at least where I live. Or if there is, it's dropped right in the middle of civilization. After lunch, we went to a village to deliver Christmas boxes. When we got there, I was taken aback by how many kids were there. I guessed about 150. Anyway, we just jumped right in there and began playing games and having lots of fun with everyone. Eventually, it was time for us to pass out the boxes. Our group split up and each took an age group of either boys or girls. Two other girls and I were put with the 10-12 year old girls. There were about 90 of them. Oh, and it turned out there were around 460 kids! Looks like guesstimating is not my forte. We were short on boxes...by a lot. So, we had to send the truck back down the mountain to go get some more. We were all so antsy, not knowing what to do with 90 pre-teen girls!! But then I looked at them, and they were so content. Just waiting patiently. It reminded me of how greedy and impatient we can be - even when we're about to get something amazing.

Later in the evening, after we experienced dinner at a local restaurant, we attended a church service. This was powerful. The church was outside and right next to a road. Cars were zooming by the whole time. But still, the whole service was powerful. Of course I had no clue what was going on because I didn't understand what they were saying. But I learned that there are some universal signs on this earth. The music was amazing. It moved me so much that I couldn't move. I found it interesting how different we worship, and yet we're worshiping the SAME GOD. You don't need a big screen to read scripture or song lyrics to worship. There is less concern of appearance, even in what you wear. They simply gather to be with each other and worship.



Throughout the week, the group would usually split up, part of us working on construction, and the other staying back to do work at the clinic (such as sorting clothes and organizing Christmas boxes). And throughout the days there seemed to be a common song everyone loved singing. "We Are the World" was kind of like a theme song to us. We would just belt it out after a long day's work. It was a nice song of encouragement and meaning.

Different from most days, Tuesday, the group didn't split up, instead we stayed together. It was a long and HOT day to say the least. We were on the road by 8 AM to later return by a little past 8 PM for dinner. In the morning we visited two local schools, and in the afternoon, we delivered Christmas boxes to two villages. For me and my close friend, Mallie, this day was a big day. We had prayed a lot the night before and morning of for our group to have strength and energy, and just for everything to go smoothly. We were the ones who had planned and organized what everyone was going to be doing with the kids (crafts, games, etc.) But I later realized, that was SO not what it was about. It didn't matter that we had prepared for this day months in advance. It didn't matter that I was anxious or nervous. It didn't matter. It's not about me. I think part of it is about that we can create this one cohesive group of people which consist of Hondurans and Americans. We wipe away language, skin color, money, materials, and are left with personality, character, faith, and heart. I believe we did that a lot on that day.


The first school was a kindergarten and they were adorable! We played games like Duck Duck Goose and Red Light Green Light. The kids were so happy and energetic! Although, there were a few who stayed inside the classroom because they were afraid we were doctors coming to give them shots. What an awful that probably was for them. It made me wonder what all these kids think when a mission group comes into a school to spend time with them. I wish I knew how they felt, but then again, it's not about me. The next school consisted of kids from ages 6-12. This time, I worked with the older girls. We made bracelets and flowers! Each bead on the bracelet represented something about Jesus and His love for us. It was really neat because we were able to translate the message to them.

After lunch, I made a new best friend. That's his picture above, with the pink balloon. We went to a village on the mountain to deliver Christmas boxes. (And we didn't run out this time.) This precious little boy was just hanging out with his balloon. Somehow we started this game where he would consistently hit me with it and I would pretend like it hurt by saying "Ow!" He loved it! I did too. I tried speaking to him in the little Spanish I knew, but he just carried on his merry way in silence with the exception of a few giggles. It was kind of cool. He just wandered around, as happy as could be, and I followed. Who knew a pink balloon could bring two together? By this time in the day, it had gotten pretty darn hot. Everyone was also really tired. Rev (one of the group leaders) gathered us all around and told us that we COULD go home and go swim in the lake because we are hot, tired, and thirsty. But, Israel (the Honduran pastor who we worked with) says there's another village of 1,000 people who need our help. And that's why we're here - it's a mission trip. It was an inspiring speech and we all hopped in the van and truck to drive to the village. As we were driving I thought about Rev's little pep talk and something bothered me about it. I got frustrated because I feel like sometimes we truly did forget the purpose of why we were there. We were not there for us. This is supposed to be a trip filled with service, humility, and teaching. And if a break, relaxation, and fun begin to intercede, then that is a huge bonus. But for me, serving is relaxing and fun and a break from life back home.

The next village was intense. Kids were running everywhere. There were so many people. "The World Spins Madly On" came to my head because of the chaos but yet harmony that was present. That song talks about the chaos of the world, but sings it in a harmonious way. Pretty cool. This time, I was put with the 0-3 year old girls. This was very different from last time because the mothers were there. It was interesting to see how different the ages of the mothers were. I saw many women who were around my age with a child. That made me think a little. I also met an 8 year-old girl who had to take care of her other siblings. I suppose because her parents are gone or something. But, we passed out all the boxes and everything went smoothly. As everyone was "dismissed" and we were getting ready to leave I just stopped. I looked at all the kids running around, screaming, playing, laughing. I watched the mothers slowly walk away into the distance. I watched the sun set over this field that acted as a a place for games, preaching, and giving. The song came back to me and this feeling came over me. A heavy feeling. Tears came to my eyes, which doesn't happen often. I didn't know why, it was very strange. I just stared at everything that was happening, in shock almost. I still don't know why. I had so many emotions running through me - sadness, joy, confusion. What it came down to in the end was that "the world spins madly on."



The next day the whole group went up to the mountain and everyone did construction. I love manual labor. It was also cool to ride up the mountain one last time. A song by Third Day popped into my head as we were making the drive. Mostly because of the surroundings, but also because of the place I am in my life right now. It's called "Mountain of God" and the line that came to me was "And now I realize the truth that I must go through the valley to stand upon the MOUNTAIN OF GOD." It was a very special moment.

Thursday was the final full day and we could choose whether to go to up to construction or stay down to visit some local schools. Honestly, I hate these decisions. My opinion is that we are here for them, and our preference of doing something shouldn't matter. I just want to be told where to go. "Here I am, Send Me." That's how I feel. I didn't know what to do, so long story short one of the dads made the decision for me. And I didn't look back. I stayed down to visit the schools. It was actually a pretty good idea because we all got our claim of fame on the local Honduran news station!! We visited a kindergarten to make some crafts and pass hygiene kits out to them. And then we visited a larger school. After we toured it and hung out for a bit, they told us they wanted us to stay for recess and play basketball with them! The news team happened to be outside the school and when they heard this, they went and got their camera. Mind you, this camera was just and ordinary home video camera that we would have in the States, not what you would imagine when you think of news team. Anyway, we all decided that we sweat and exerted the same amount of energy than the construction goers because these Honduran kids ran us like crazy!! It was a lot of fun and I loved that they let us be a part of something like that. So inclusive and loving.



As expected, this trip was amazing. I made so many realizations about life, America, and myself. And since I'm such a slow processor, I'm still realizing and learning things. My goal is to keep everything I learned steady in my heart. I don't want to forget Honduras. I don't want to forget the changes I want to make. I don't want to forget all the moments, songs, and blessings I experienced. Honduras will now be a special and sacred place to me. I miss it so much. I miss the simple life. I miss "Honduran" time. I miss serving. I miss the strength I felt each morning when I woke up with the birds. I'm now praying that I can feel here what I felt there. I pray that I can be strong each day. I pray that I leap at every service opportunity. Most importantly, I pray for Honduras - the people, the children, the politicians, everyone, and everything.

"WE are the world."

Saturday, March 20, 2010

First Verse

I'm calling this the "first verse" because this, hopefully, will be the first of many posts I write. It's the first verse of what I like to call a glorious song. The first verse in a song WE hear each and every day. Life has it's way of speaking (or singing) to us, and I'm going to use this blog as a way to figure out what it's trying to say. The lyrics of life may come in songs, but I believe they come in other ways too. What are those other ways? I guess you and I will just have to figure that out together to see.